Sardonic Guys are from Heaven

amy winehouse

2010-08-29T14:18:00.002+08:00

Early Childhood…

Teenage…

Present: A performer…

20 years later…

Someone's Specialty...

2010-08-28T11:37:00.004+08:00

Someone's Specialty... Would you dare tasting it?

Things That Could Make You Say Damn!!!

2010-04-25T11:02:00.016+08:00

Things That Could Make You Say...
DAMN!!!

And last but not the least...

DAMN!!!!

IF WOMEN CONTROLLED THE WORLD

2009-09-28T17:10:00.010+08:00

IF WOMEN CONTROLLED THE WORLD, IT MIGHT BE LIKE THIS... IT WOULD BE DAMN FUNNY IF THINGS MIGHT HAPPEN! I JUST CAN'T IMAGINE!

Which PACIFIER is the BEST?

2009-09-19T15:39:00.012+08:00

CHOOSE THE BEST PACIFIER FOR YOUR BABY...

now choose...

TIME FLAPS SWIFTLY...

2009-09-03T16:40:00.004+08:00

My partner's departute is marginally near. I could even see myself alone for quite a long time. "Should I worry?" That question always been popping inside my head these days. For a feeling of alleviation, I often think and believe on the promises we had said to each other. And I am confident that those promises are true.

But the thing that affects me much is not about the promises but it's on how can I teach myself being independent without my partner's presence. Is it my fault that I let myself too reliable in his nearness? Realizing that I've been spoiling myself made an immense impact emotionally. This past weeks, everytime we're together, it made me very happy though but conversely, there's a feeling of fear. Fear of remembering these days someday. Certainly, I'll be missing my partner immeasurably. Whew! Especially when reminiscing the day we first met plus the fact that his leaving very soon, damn! It made me fall into tears. I guess you guys understand the emotions I have. It's hard but I should brazen up myself...

Alone Again Naturally

2009-06-19T15:07:00.009+08:00

8 years of exploring love, 7 serious relationships and 4 of them left me. Being left alone by someone important to you inflicts great emotional pain. I know I'm not the only one who experience such but I wanna share to you guys how painful it is when your "Dream-Come-True" will become a "Nightmare-Come -True".

We need to move-on though, but before I was totally healed by these merciless encounters, I can't do anything but pass all these upshots: lack of concentration in our studies or work, appetite loss, day dreaming, sleepless night, missing that person to death, uncontrollable tears falling, depression, etc. Because of these factors, I fear to be left once more. It's like a phobia that keeps on making my nights disturbing and bothers you in no time.

Right now, I am committed to someone. This person helped me in various aspects of life. Mushy but it's true! This relationship opened my mind again to show and prove myself that i'm not weak. Sometimes, I tend not to show such weakness. And I have to. But before entering this relationship, I asked myself many times if once again I could bear this kind of burden if it happens once more. Well, NO GUTS, NO GLORY! So I brazen myself for this commitment. A life -long commitment (we're both serious)... At the back of my mind, I still have fears though our relationship runs smoothly. My trust to my partner always win. That's why we're both in love and still going strong somehow. A happy ending perhaps.

Happy ending? I'm aware that this is not our happy ending yet. Challenges are still there even if you'll get marry the next day. The fear that I'm trying to get rid of is now feasible to happen. One morning, my partner told me with all the courage ('coz my partner knows what would be my reaction) of leaving the country soon. At that moment, my world began toppling down bit by bit. The person I loved most will leave soon. I don't know to whom I gather strength? To whom I suppose to release my emotion or pour out my problems or confide my secrets? I hate being alone while strolling somewhere or watching movies! I have learnt to live my life being with my partner. I hate sprawling on my bed and cry becuase of missing that person so much! Well, of course, NO ONE could replace that peson (even for the meantime!!!) Duh, I'm not a nuts!!!

I'll be missing things like the countless hugs and kisses, pinching and rubbing gently the tip of my nose, the way my partner kisses and sniffs my head, the laughter we made, the time we spent together... I don't want to mention more... It hurts whenever my balderlash brain keeps of reminding me those precious moments we had. C'est la vie, I need to be brave. It's just for the meantime (years of waiting again...)

As the day of my Dubby's departure draws nearer, I'm like a guy with a seige of debilitating disease on my death bed counting for my remaining days to live. That's why I began teaching myself to stretch my patience and stick into my mind that this relationship I have is worth waiting and fighting! Sometimes, I also tried to imagine that Dubby isn't here anymore. How sad. But Don't worry my dearest Dubby, you're already secured in my heart. Now it's my time to test myself. I may sound too exage but it's genuinely true. All I have to do is cherish every moments being together...

Bothered By Miscommunication

2009-06-13T00:59:00.007+08:00

The time is getting late and I'm bothered by so many things. I tried to comfort my mind but still there's no feeling ease. I felt of having no assurance of being secured this time. Secured in a sense of someone would understand me fully and will stay with you through. it just entered my mind that if one day I die, would someone grieve? Would someone miss me? Right now, I'm in the brink of being out of my mind.

The security I felt before is on the verge of vanishing. What happened hours ago was just a simple thing. I understood the situation but the people tend not to understand me as I discern them. I tried to explain but by some hindrance, I was not able to. Maybe if I did, they won't accept my explanation. So what's the use? And as I tried to think again and again, why should I received a message enclosing this word: "Bye." by the time I woke up? Then I have not received any since then. Well in fact, I'm the pathetic guy here because I've done nothing. And now it turned to be it's my fault now? Do I deserve this? Or maybe because I'm not their IDEAL GUY that's why the hell they should listen to me? Why are they not considerate? In this situation, only understanding and consideration are needed for solution. NOT PRIDE. Sorry but I can't meet both ends. If apology is needed, I'm willing to.

Indeed, I'm more than an invisible guy trying to touch people's heart. Hmmm, a lot of people were touched but did not see my worth. I guess this is my fate and still hoping that it's not. Well, it's better if I'll go back to my old self again: hate the world, let nobody could see me.

Now, the time runs slowly though it's getting late. My eyes are tired still I can't sleep. I am not physically and emotionally well. It used to make me sick of hearing: "The world is (damn) unfair!" I even tend not to care before until I noticed that the quote seems to be true. Living in this world is totally for survival, you need to work for it. Work to let people see your worth. Maybe I should do a bit harder and one day, at least someone will appreciate the invisible guy like me. That's the time I'll be turning into flesh.

BELIEVE IT OR NOT...

2009-04-15T15:13:00.017+08:00

Guys, don't be scared or disgusted on the things I am showing you. I'm not forcing you to believe in what you'll see. The real thing is, supposing it is really happening, we MUST eradicate this evil doing! But I guess it is really happening somewhere in Asia. Aborted fetuses, dead newly-born babies and ordinary dead people must have their right of having their resting place for eternity. They are all human beings and we must follow the "Human Rights". Eating people/ human body parts is called Cannibalism. But why are people doing this? We all know that we could do something.

CANNED BRAINS and GRILLED/BARBECUED FETUSES

BUTCHERED BABY...

Between Life and Death

2009-03-17T00:11:00.005+08:00

Talking about death is such a sensitive topic. Most people don’t mind to discuss it and some get annoyed. Tackling such topic makes them feel horrible to be exact. Who would have thought I’m open at it. Weird, isn’t it? To tell you guys, I have been in the state of “Near-Death-Experience”.

THE INCIDENT

In the evening of April 29, 2006, it was a fair night for me. I wasn’t thinking of anything may happen. All was so smooth, even a single possibility of being in danger was out of my mind. At exactly 10:55pm I was stabbed. I was with my friends and decided to go home early. I dropped-by to a nearby store (15 meters away from our house) and the owner warned me about the two guys behind staring viciously at me. When I looked back, they ogle to do something bad. So I hasten to go home without a word after the store owner handed me the change. By walking fast, I thought they’re not getting closer anymore. I was being so confident of reaching the house safe. But I was wrong. I never noticed they walked fast and haven’t heard their footsteps. Before reaching the gate, I felt I felt like someone has stapled my flesh and realized that I was stabbed at the upper left of my back.

After my parents knew what happened, they rushed me directly to the hospital of course without any delay. In the hospital, the doctor gave me 8 hours as an observation and if my condition is still unstable after the said hours, I would surely die.

AT THE HOSPITAL

Few hours later (the dawn of April 30), I felt an obstruction of breathing. It was like my lungs has gotten smaller and it hurts every time I breathe. My father never mentioned anything about their conversation with my internist (thanks to Dr. Red) the night before. The real thing was, my left lung’s sack got traumatized and little by little, it absorbed blood every time I breathe. That’s the reason why it hurts when I breathe. My case was called “Haemothorax”. An operation was needed the soonest.

The doctor decided to have my operation inside my room instead because I collapsed the nurses assisted me to the wheelchair heading to the Operating Room.

I heard my mom’s sob while my dad was holding my hands very tight. The doctor injected the anesthesia and began cutting the left part of my chest (an inch wide). But the worst thing was, he inserted his fingers (his two fingers) and asked me if it hurts. How stupid!!! But I felt numb. Then he inserted the flexible tube until it reached my lung’s sack. The tube’s purpose was to drain out the blood from the left lung. From the moment it started to drain, I fell unconscious.

UNCONSCIOUSNESS CAME

While I was unconscious, they’ve been observing me intensively. During the critical hours, I dreamed of something or wasn’t a dream either. But I could still remember it vividly. I saw myself lying flat on my bed, very pale and almost lifeless. The first thing came out from my mind- a doppelganger? I couldn’t cry, scream or being hysterical but I felt schmaltzy after seeing myself again. Then I heard someone’s calling my name. It was a sotto voce and an eerie man’s voice. I followed the voice it was behind the windows. How come? We’re on the 5^th floor!!! I admit that I have an intense fear of heights but I went out thought the windows without opening it. It was amazing because I was afloat and seeing the cars below tracking the streets busily. I’ve flown further and higher together with the birds while following the voice. I could see again the little cars on the road congested with traffic until I noticed that I was heading home. But before reaching the house, my consciousness retrieved.

I didn’t open my eyes yet though I’m awake. I felt cold and it’s like your body being dipped into a freezing-cold water. From head to toe, I felt like I’m frozen. I know I was alive but very weak and helpless. All I did was just a hush cry. I’M ALMOST DEAD!

LESSONS LEARNT

All the things happened in our life has its purpose. We don’t understand things first but later on, we’ll just realize. But the more positive we are, the quicker we understand the predicaments we had. God prodded us to be awakened to the truth. It’s a wake-up call.

He gave me the second chance to change. In spite of being tagged as a bad guy, I was able to prove that I’m not that such. I’ve learnt to live life in the right way and appreciate it again. Because of this experience, I’ve grown more mature. This is not an ersatz feeling, it’s true. And this is what I call “My Change”.

WACKY MONDAY

2009-02-04T21:43:00.004+08:00

One morning, I'm on my way to my school (High School), I saw a very weird looking, tall and thin guy. His pointed chin and very pale complexion seemed to be of vampire's resemblance. He wore ebony black fitting polo, black denim pants, black shinny leather shoes and a black eye liner that made his lonely eyes very expressive and bold that captured everyone's attention. His feature is as of the European descent (more likely the Goths or ROMANIANS from Transylvania). Over all, hid ghastly and dour aura crept a horrible feeling inside me. Even the other people were bothered and felt the same. Nobody knows whether he's waiting for someone or whatever. Well, he was just there leaning against the wall. Meanwhile, a chic was walking along the same side-walk as where the weird guy was standing. I was next to her but just more than 4-5 meters behind. While walking, she kept on stroking her long reddish hair elegantly. She even walked gorgeously wearing a very tight jeans and a very sexy top (backless). I was indeed tantalized by her charm.
Anyway, as the lady nearly passed the guy, he approached without hesitation and reminded about her fly. The zipper?!?! Yes, it was widely open! Her reaction was indescribable. She couldn't barely talk or just ignore him instead. A dry smile with teary eyes, she immediately changed her visage's reaction. She panicked, facing in front of me, shaking, sweating and went off very pale. All of a sudden, she gave him a powerful SLAP! Being so puzzled- and that's my reaction. She dashed like a sprinter across the street until she was nowhere in sight. And talking about the guy's reaction? As if nothing happened. Very SNUB! It happened so fast!
Well, the reason why the girl slapped the guy because of his sardonic approach. Sometimes, we're just too honest to say something without thinking it beforehand. By nature, man is brutally honest. By approaching people, we certainly know their reaction after the things we've said. And sometimes, someone's approach can be the start of misunderstanding. It depends on how people understand the conversation. But we must be cautious on it. Every human reaction is only a natural reaction to the doer in which what has been done. It's like reflecting yourself by looking at the mirror. And we should realize that every individual's feeling is always fragile.
If we'll take a closer look, why did the girl done such a thing? I'm pretty sure some of you left a big question mark inside your head. Certainly, he was from heaven with all the mischief! But why did she burst out her anger? Well, she was not wearing ANYTHING underneath!!! Yuck!!!